March 06, 2006
Bush Cricket
I don't know about anyone else, but this photo on the front page of today's paper gave me a bit of a chuckle...
It seems that President Bush is in Pakistan, and decided to try his hand against the Pakistani national cricket team. He got hit on the shoulder by a bouncer from Inzamam-ul-Haq, though later actually did manage to get bat on ball at least once. Check out the SMH Photo gallery for more shots from Bush's cricket clinic. The ones of him bowling are particularly amusing :)
January 16, 2006
Demotivators
Anyone find themselves irritated by those motivational posters you sometimes see in corporate offices and other places, praising the virtues of teamwork, persistence, creativity etc? If so, then I may have found the site for you. A friend send me an email with a bunch of "de-motivator" posters, which look the same, but have a quite different sort of message...
These posters came be found at despair.com, a company who are devoted to lowering people's expectations...
AT DESPAIR, INC., we believe motivational products create unrealistic expectations, raising hopes only to dash them. That's why we created our soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators designs, so you can skip the delusions that motivational products induce and head straight for the disappointments that follow!
January 13, 2006
Generous Horticulture
Below is an image I found quite humorous, but it's the sort of think you'd probably get only if you are familiar with both author Brian McLaren and the Veggie Tales TV show. If so, then click the link below, if not then please ignore this post...
This is from the blog of Jamie Arpin-Ricci who made the picture for a Christian photoshop competition. I loved the picture, and the rest of his blog is very interesting as well so I will have to add it to my feeds. Also should try and check out some of the other entries in the comp.
November 25, 2005
Computer mouse
I'm in the market for a new computer at the moment and hence have been browsing different components. One of the coolest things now is the availability of really flash looking computer cases, with innovative lines, transparent panels, coloured lights, and functionally practical designs to boot.
Not sure if this one is particularly functional but I guess if you like the idea of having a little furry rodent running around in your PC then it might appeal...
Habicase - A Paradise For Your Furry Friends!Hamsters, gerbils and mice are our furry domesticated friends. They make great pets, but sometimes get neglected when you're busy playing all-night quake-fragfests and spending all-day reading other people's blogs.
Now your small rodent(s) can always be by your side when using the computer! The PC HabiCase allows your gerbil, hamster or mouse to live INSIDE your computer. Ample room is provided for climbing, or your pet can hang out in one of the two "play pods" located at the front and top of the case. Heat from your CPU ensures your rodent will be warm and comfortable in a climate controlled environment.
The PC HabiCase features anodized aluminum construction with a side window port to more easily monitor your pet. The quiet low-speed 120mm fan allows your rodent to live comfortably without fear of hearing damage.
Endorsed by PETA as an ethical way to reintegrate your pets back into your hearts after the birth of the Internet.
For some more examples of interesting computer case design see this page. This is another very cool custom built case that I discovered on the net. You can read the epic saga of it's construction here.
November 22, 2005
iPodiatrist
Never thought I'd be able to combine the categories iPod, Medical, and Humour in the one post but here you go. This is from one of the medical magazines I get from a few weeks back...
September 21, 2005
Pirate Keyboard
Looks like I missed out on International Talk Like a Pirate Day for this year. It's on September 19, but with little things like exams and a wedding anniversary it clean slipped my mind. Anyway, since that swimming Kangaroo seemed so popular (although one of my colleagues was concerned that the Roo might be depressed and trying to end it all), here's another photo, courtesy of my dad. It's a Pirate's keyboard... Arrrrr!
August 12, 2005
Dumb Laws
I've always found these kind of lists of crazy things you find in the statutes of law to be pretty funny. I wonder how many people actually obey these laws in their various states, and more importantly, how many people ever get charged or convicted of these heinous crimes? Obviously most of these examples come from the crazy ole USA but there's plenty from around the rest of the world also, including Australia...
In Utah
- It is illegal not to drink milk.
- Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine.
- No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.
In Vermont
- Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
In Texas
- It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
- San Antonio: It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
- Galveston: It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before noon on Sundays.
- El Paso: Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons "of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them."
In Oregon
- Ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.
- Dishes must drip dry.
- One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e., that which covers one's body from neck to knee.
- It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink.
- No more than two people may share a single drink.
In Oklahoma
- Tissues are not to be found in the back of one's car.
- Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
- It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.
- People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
- Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.
In Ohio
- It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
- Breast feeding is not allowed in public.
- It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
- It is against the law to roller skate without notifying the police.
In New York
- A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
- It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
- A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
- Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.
In Minnesota
- Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
- All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
- It is illegal to sleep naked.
- A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
In Australia
- Only licensed electricians may change a light bulb. The fine for not abiding by this law is 10 pounds. (Victoria)
- It is illegal to wear hot pink pants after midday Sunday. (Victoria)
- Your modem can't pick up on the first ring. If it does the ACA permit for your modem is invalid and there's a $12000 fine.
- It is technically illegal to copy music from CDs you own onto your MP3 player or iPod...
So watch out, all you law breakers out there!
For many more examples of these kind of stupid archaic laws check out CrazyLaws.com and The Dumb Network.
August 03, 2005
RAS syndrome
One thing that has often bugged me a little is when I hear people talk about an "ATM machine", which if you think about it a little, is kinda stupid because if you expand the acronym then what you are actually saying is "automatic teller machine machine." Another example that I must confess even I am guilty of using is the phrase "PIN number" Today I've realised that there is a name for this kind of thing - R.A.S syndrome - the Redundant Acronym Syndrome syndrome (also known as RAP phrases = Redundant Acronym Phrases phrases)
This is a syndrome that plagues our society, with hundreds of examples in everyday use :
- PIN number
- ATM machine
- KFC chicken
- HIV virus
- NIV version
- NLT translation
- LAN network
- RAM memory
- VHF frequency
- EBV virus
- LPG gas
- DVD disc
- SAM missile
- GST tax
For more information about this serious problem, see the Wikepedia article. It's the sort of thing that, once you become aware of it, you'll start to notice the symptoms more and more. So be on your guard, and if you come up with any other good example please let us know. Anyway I've got some more work to do in my GP practice so I'll leave it in your hands for now.
August 01, 2005
The power of punctuation
Saw this on Phil's blog today, but it's so clever I couldn't resist posting it on here myself...
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?Gloria
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior.You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?Yours, Gloria
July 12, 2005
It's probably spam if
It's good to see the humour in all sorts of negative things, even spam ... [via]
- If the e-mail comes from a guy named Midshipman L. Returnable or Polytheist H. Communicators, it's probably spam.
- If you've won anything, it's probably spam.
- Unless it comes from your sweetie, any e-mail that begins "Hi Sweetie" is probably spam.
- If it involves any account anywhere, it's probably spam.
- If the English in the e-mail appears to have been written by a monkey with a typewriter, it's probably spam.
- If the e-mail is dated three months ago, it's probably spam.
- Only plastic surgery will make your Johnson bigger. It's probably spam.
- If anybody identifies themselves as "Barrister" in an e-mail, it's probably spam.
- Buy your drugs at the drug store. It's probably spam.
- The horny women in your neighborhood aren't waiting for you on a Website in Denmark. It's probably spam.
- Your PayPal account doesn't need upgrading. It's probably spam.
- The widow of an African diamond merchant isn't likely to have your e-mail address. It's probably spam.
- ?????? in the "From" box is probably spam.
- Chinese banks don't usually mine for credit card applicants in the U.S. It's probably spam.
- If the "Subject" line says something like, "In fit my obdurate kerosene," it's probably spam.
- There is no such thing as an "OEM SOFTWARE NEWSLETTER," and if there was, why would they send it to you? It's probably spam.
- Your computer isn't a "selling machine," so the e-mail telling you to make it one is probably spam.
- Your home doesn't need refinancing. It's probably spam.
- Your BIOS doesn't need updating. It's probably spam.
- And nobody from the dating site told Kristen about you. It's probably spam.
May 31, 2005
Store Wars
Store Wars | Join the Organic Rebellion - this site is pretty funny. I haven't watched the whole thing through yet but it looks pretty good - kinda like Star Wars meets Veggie Tales. [via Stevey]
March 28, 2005
Vintage iPod
Discovered this over at Phil's blog this morning. It's an early advertising campaign for one of the first iPod models - take a look. That's classic!
February 22, 2005
Quirky habits
Saw this on Phil's Blog today. From the Fender discussion forum, little quirky habits that these guitarists feel compelled to do :
* I MUST play, before taking a guitar off my shoulders, off a stand, or putting into a case, an open A chord.
* I pat my own butt about 100 times a day to make sure my wallet is still there.
* I have to put my right shoe on first. Every time.
* I can't stand even so much as a speck of dust in the bed...it will drive me crazy all night.
* Shirts on hanger are hung right sleeve first.
* The small comb in my back right pocket must have the teeth facing left.
* Always an open E chord before I put the guitar down.
There's many more on there as well. I'm sure I do a bunch of these little compulsions too but can't think of any off hand (I bet my wife could suggest a few) - Guitar related, I always do the open E for some reason, rather than the open A - probably because E uses all 6 strings.
February 15, 2005
Flamin tourists
Just got this email from a mate, which I thought was pretty funny. Warning : non-Australians may not be quite so amused so read on at your own risk...
These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism
Website and obviously the answers came from fellow Aussies just
trying to help:
1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain
on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then we just sit around
watching them die.
2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the
railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...
4. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send
me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
5. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which
does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross. Come naked.
6. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
7. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
8. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
9. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
10. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
11. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
12. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
13. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
14. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
15. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all
year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
16. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can
dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-me-ri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
17. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I
forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees.(USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can
scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out
walking.
18. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the
girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
19. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
October 08, 2004
Health and fitness : the real facts
Here's yet another humorous health related email, courtesy of my dad :
The Facts:
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Disclaimer :
as a doctor I in no way endorse the above advice. In fact, if you follow it I will expect to be seeing a lot more of you in years to come, so I can prescribe you medication to treat your blood pressure, heart disease, and cholesterol. Now go and enjoy some beef!
October 06, 2004
Actual writings on charts in a MPUMALANGA hospital (South Africa)
These are pretty funny. Apparently these were actually written in real patients' hospital records. And I've certainly seen some things almost as strange as this. If you don't think this is funny, blame my dad, who forwarded them to me... (thanks Dad!)
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears
to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
October 05, 2004
Anyone seen Homer's house
Just saw this interesting story about a hoax email which circulated purporting that someone had made a replica of the Simpson's house in a Melbourne suburb. This resulted in thousands of phone calls to the council offices from fans trying to find it, and people spending hours driving around the suburb looking for it, including many driving down Evergreen Drive. My guess is that the prankster must have been a resident of the suburb, and he or she would have got a lot of fun out of watching the stream of cars slowly cruising around, nerdy cartoon fans peering out their car windows.
I'm back at work today after a long weekend and it's predictably looking a bit hectic. No major dramas thus far though - lots of easy little things. Plus one of my patients turned out to be a girl who I worked with as a youth leader a few years back. Makes me feel old to see people growing up like that.
October 04, 2004
Politics Schmolitics
Great article in the SMH today entitled Politics schmolitcs, which provides a bit of light relief from the election campaign by highlighting a few humorous political websites from around the globe. The cliche site, though American, is quite good.
And for some more specifically Australian political laughs, check out the Advanced Hair website, where you can try a variety of hairstyles on John Howard and Mark Latham... yeah yeah.
September 15, 2004
You can sell almost anything on eBay
I've always found news reports about the crazy things people sell on Funny Auctions. Check it out. At the moment a lot of them are political Bush v Kerry type things, but there's a few good ones on there - among other things you can purchase a kite flown in a hurricane, P Diddy's toothpick, a 1964 model wife, someone's left breast, an air guitar, a handshake, and a prayer for £1. This site is worth a regular look I'd say.
September 08, 2004
This Land Is My Land
This has got to be one of the funniest things I've seen in a while - it's George W Bush and John Kerry singing a duet version of This Land Is My Land. It manages to take the mickey out of both of them at the same time, as well as featuring a host of American political figures and clever references including a little Dr Strangelove type sequence, a poor dispossessed Indian, Bill Clinton (in his pre CABG days I would assume), and much more. Watch out for the Dick Cheney line at the end.
It's 3.7 meg to download but well worth the wait. Much quicker for those of us lucky enough to have broadband though.
June 28, 2004
Snooze button
Whoever invented the Snooze button should be tried for crimes against humanity. It's the bane of my life, yet I have this bizarre love-hate relationship with it. Lying in bed on a cold winter's morning those extra 9 minutes or so seem so precious. But later, after those 9 minutes turn into 18, then 27, 36 and so on, and I'm running around in a rush trying to get everything done before I go to work, having missed going to the gym or doing any reading, I curse that little snooze button for ruining my day. Not that the fact that I'm lazy and undisciplined and my bed is so cozy and warm has anything to do with it. No, it's all the fault of that little 9 minute thief. Ever wondered why most snooze buttons are set to 9 minutes? Well there's a few theories here.June 15, 2004
Why American Athletes Don't Have Real Jobs
I received this in an email from a friend today and thought it was pretty funny :- Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
- New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
- And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
- Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
- Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)
- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
- Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
- Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a colour photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
- Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
- Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
- Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
- Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
- Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."
June 14, 2004
Leg jokes
Sorry about these, but here's a couple of bad medical jokes I just came across :This chap goes to the doctor and complains about his leg. "It keeps
talking," he says. The doctor tells him to take off his trousers and lay on the examination
couch. He then listens to the
man's thigh through his stethoscope. The thigh says, "Lend us a tenner." "Remarkable," says the doctor, moving the stethoscope down to the knee. "Lend us a fiver," says the knee. "Incredible," says the doctor, moving the stethoscope down to the ankle. "Lend us a couple of quid," says the ankle. "Amazing," says the doctor. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "Well it's very unusual, but I think your leg is broke in three places." Bloke wakes after an operation to find the doctor standing next to
him, How'd it go doc? Well I have some good news and some bad news ...which would you like
first ? Oh dear - spose you better tell me the bad news first.... Well we amputated the wrong leg. Arr bugger - so whats the good news then ? Well it seems your bad leg is getting better !
June 04, 2004
Friday Funnies
Here's a couple of amusing photos that my dad emailed me today :
Gotta love those Canadians!
May 28, 2004
Bushisms
Following on from the great list of "Presidential quotes" I posted the other day, here's a few quotes from the current incumbent of the Oval Office. Nowhere near as profound or insightful as some of his predecessors, but a whole lot more funny! "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right." "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." "More and more of our imports come from overseas." "Like you, I have been disgraced about what I've seen on TV that took place in prison." "The march to war hurt the economy. Laura reminded me a while ago that remember what was on the TV screens — she calls me, 'George W.' — 'George W.' I call her, 'First Lady.' No, anyway — she said, we said, march to war on our TV screen." "I'm the master of low expectations." "I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." "If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier — so long as I'm the dictator." "If you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for anything!" "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness.""Reading is the basics for all learning." "Actually, I — this may sound a little West Texas to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about — when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me." "I think we agree, the past is over." "A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness." "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." "If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow."
May 11, 2004
The Singhsons
I thought this was hilarious - it's Bollywood meets the world's favourite animated family - The Singhsons!April 23, 2004
CNNNN
If you occaisionally watch the ABC, you may have come across the program CNNN - the Chaser Non-Stop News Network, which is a quite funny satirical "news" program. I just discovered they have a website too which is quite good www.cnnnn.com - it even includes their classic newsbar (fortunately not the newsbar summary newsbar) - here's some examples of today's "News"- Tafe lecturer still describing herself as an "Academic"
- Celeberity chef eating 2 minute noodles for dinner again
- Cast of new Australian comedy show likely to include Glen Robbins
- Parent suspects Bob Marley song may really be about marijuana
- Seafood reataurant owner admits he has crabs
- Larry emdure troubled by lingereing sense of emptiness
- Audience worries Carlos Santana sol may never finish
- Artwork accused of having ulterior motif
- Labor party thrashed in national "Simon Says" championships
- Non-Italian man uses Italian accent to order Macchiato
- Newsbar proofreader lets gaurd down
- No 1 dance hit ousted by almost identical track
- Non-pianist performs 'chopsticks'
- Pepetually single guy tries to make it look like his choice
- Disneyland still waiting on formal UN recognition
- Newbar item ends abruptl
