Actual writings on charts in a MPUMALANGA hospital (South Africa)
Categories : Humour, Medicine |
These are pretty funny. Apparently these were actually written in real patients’ hospital records. And I’ve certainly seen some things almost as strange as this. If you don’t think this is funny, blame my dad, who forwarded them to me… (thanks Dad!)
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears
to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
